Infidelity Insight

Experiences  


Experience 1

XYZ, a student who saw her mom cheating on her husband 14 years of my life. I had always seen mom and dad happily married, admired them as a couple and always felt they were meant to be together. They had been married for 20 years now and never compromised on the doting relationship they share with my sister and me. But just a few months ago, I heard them fighting. Daddy was really loud with mom, and both of them cried themselves to sleep. What could've happened? My mind kept wandering in every possible direction just to figure out whatever went wrong between the couple I admired the most. From that day thereafter, things took a melancholic turn. Though we never witnessed their fights, my sister and I knew that they were no longer attached to each other, they shared food no more, went out no more; we eventually realised, they were in love no more. Does this even happen? I kept telling myself that this was just a hoax call, and everything was still going to be alright. I wanted to stay in denial. Going through this phase, we kids, settled on to get to the roots of this issue, and we began tracking our parents' moves. I took charge of mom's activities and my sister hooked her eyes on dad. We felt miserable doubting our parents, but we found no other route. And it took just a few days, to bring out to sight, what was the issue. The conclusion of the spying and interpretations of all the acts, left us devastated. My MOM, my very own mother, was the cause. She had been cheating on dad, with a colleague in her workplace! This started right since she began working, two years ago. The financial constraints in my family, led my mom to start working in a bank. A shift of 9-5 and tiresome travelling schedule made her become less active with household chores. Dad would always help and run errands for mom, but soon dad's work distanced him from mom and she would often sit in isolation, aloof from the family and stopped interacting much, though never speaking aloud or expressing emotion. She eventually started spending hours on phone, talking to someone she mentioned as counsellor, whom she is seeking for work stress. However, in my determination to seek the truth, I somehow managed to crack the password in her phone and read through her conversations with the counsellor, while she was asleep. What was in front of my eyes, left me in stupor. Highly embarrassed to confess this, I told my sister that our mother had been sex-ting with the "counsellor", and the last message read- Coffee @ CCD, tomorrow, 12.30. We realised that it was a gazetted holiday and banks were closed, but mom told us that she was going shopping for some stuff. My sister and I decided to follow her through and caught her red handed. In fear and astonishment, she spilled out the truth that she had been involved in an extra-marital affair because she wanted to seek attention as dad couldn't give her enough time. What followed, is history in our lives. Today, my parents are filing a divorce. Dad has taken custody for us. What will I do? Probably, just sit and watch them live separate lives and be reminded that forever in love is nothing but a hollow statement. Made for each other? I don't think I believe that anymore. Will I ever get married? I don't think that is even a relevant question to ask. This is me. Single, devastated, arrogant and highly irritable, scared of loving daughter of a mother who left her husband.

Experience 2

Ananya, A young mother who got cheated upon by her husband. What does it take to fall in love? Similarities? Understanding? Compatibility? We had it all. And we found our world with each other. But what does it take to fall out of love? Boredom? May be. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. A love marriage, without a villain in the movie. My parents loved him in the very first meeting and so was the case with his parents. Call it rare, but that was us. An adorable couple, loved by all and a role model to the young couples who wanted to get married. Three years passed and we had been in a frenzy about each other, growing together, supporting each other, and establishing each other in every realm of life. But gradually as we got engaged in our respective work life, we started drifting apart. However, we promised to stay together and love each other, despite the odds. We had our first child three years post marriage, and I decided to take a break from work to be full-time with the baby. Though these were supposed to be the best moments of our married life, post-partum blues that I faced, made the situation much gloomy. Although, we were informed by the doctor that I would go through such a phase and my husband was given all information beforehand, he faced a hard time handling me through the depressive phase. Physical intimacy went for a six, because I was so tired taking care of the baby and of myself that making love became less prior, and eventually, my desire died. But I never knew that sex was so important to sustain happiness in marriage. This continued for a year or so and by the time I came out of it, I realised it was too late. A day in late summer, just few months ago, my husband returned from work, quiet and downcast as he had become in the past year. I wanted to get close to him, but he put me away that day. And he did that every night. I blamed myself and cried every day, ruminating the thoughts of my depressive phase which led to the gap between my husband and me. But not a long time back, I figured out that his behaviour towards our baby changed and he started spending less time with the family. We often had fights regarding his work schedule and he would always leave the house in anger. When I got tired of him running away from discussions and of his excuses, I decided to consult a marriage counsellor. Explaining to her, my husband's behaviour, she hinted me about and extra-marital affair going on. To cut the story short, with my counsellor's help, I tracked my husband's tours. I realised that of all his "tours" in the past few months, none had been sanctioned by his company, which meant, none was a business tour. Further investigation enunciated that he had been with women, on all of his tours. What surprised me most, that there were different women on different tours. Pictures and eye-witness reports helped me understand that he was cheating on me. On behalf of his defence, he tried to explain that it wasn't my fault in anyway, but he just felt that I distanced myself from him physically when he wanted to be most attracted to me and that led to a huge boredom. He was tired of seeing me unattractive and lethargic almost all of my days. He says he still loves me and wants to be a part of the family, and seeks forgiveness. But his unfaithfulness has tied up tight knots in the relationship that have become impossible to loosen now. I'm still in shock as to what happened, and I'm pretty sure our baby is facing equal consequences of this drift between us.

Experience 3

5 years back, I married my high school sweetheart. We had been dating for 10 years before that and getting married seemed like the right thing to do. We were together throughout our graduation, post graduation and then we started working in the same company but in different departments. Ours was a typical high school romance story. Well, until she decided to sleep with her boss. I do not think I can ever forget the night I came to know about her affair. It was the night of her department's party for which I was invited too but had to stay home to babysit our 2 year old daughter. My then wife forgot her mobile phone at home and I woke up in the middle of the night to see she had received multiple video messages from her boss on Skype. I found that weird considering he too was supposed to be at the party so I decided to see his messages. Turns out, she had been hooking up with her boss for almost a year. I waited for a day or two before confronting her hoping that she would at least have the decency to confess to being unfaithful. Yes, you guessed it right. She didn't. I eventually confronted her and she said that she was overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility that she had. Although she apologized and genuinely felt guilty for what she had done, nothing that she could have said or done would have justified her actions. It feels like I wasted 15 years of my life trying to get know her and I guess I never really understood her. I do hope that I can forgive her one day.

Experience 4

Being a die-hard romantic I had always dreamed of having a fairy-tale romance. Throughout my teenage years, I longed to meet my own Prince Charming. I finally met my now ex-boyfriend at 24. X was 3 years older than me but the age gap never mattered to me. Throughout the two years that we were together he made me feel really special. He made me feel like I was the only girl who mattered to him. Gifts, candle lit dinners, and weekend getaways was the norm. It was a perfect day dream. But it all came crashing down when I accidently read a text message on this other phone that he had been using. That one text changed everything for me. It so happened that the woman he had received that text from was his wife. He had been married to his wife for three years and they were expecting their first child. I immediately blocked all ways for him to get in touch with me and decided that the only thing that I could do was move on with my life. Although I never spoke to him after that day, I still wonder why he did it. May be I needed to go through this to learn to not have unrealistic expectations from life or people. But is it fair to for someone to deceive another person to such an extent where the person begins to lose faith in love?

Experience 5

I have always been very shy as a person. I am what you can call a typical quiet guy, who does not like talking to a lot of people and does not interfere in people's business. So much so that people tend to overlook my existence in most situations. But things started changing when I was in my 12th standard and it was because of this new girl, Priya, who joined our school right in the middle of the session. To say that it was love at first for me would be an understatement. I was completely blown away by her. But I never bothered to initiate an interaction with her because I had never thought she would pay attention to me. It came as a surprise to me when one day she introduced herself to me. Gradually, we both started spending a lot of time together and got really close. I still never thought of disclosing how I felt about her because I thought it would affect our friendship. I did not want to risk losing her as a friend because I liked having someone to talk to at school and enjoyed hanging out with her. I felt like I was finally coming out of my shell and really making an effort to get to know people. After two-three months of being friends, Priya took me by surprise when she told that she liked me as more than just a friend. I could not be happier. I told her that I reciprocated her feelings and we starting dating then onwards. But I guess it was all too good to be true. After three months of being with Priya, I found out from a classmate that she had been seeing another boy. I confronted her regarding this and the ease with which she accepted this was unbelievable. She told me that she had misunderstood her feelings for me and realized that she thinks of me as just a friend. It left me heartbroken. I do not think I can still understand why she could not have been honest about her feelings instead of going behind my back and seeing another boy. It took me a lot of time to get over her. But the only thing that came out of this whole mess was that she helped me come out of my shell and encouraged me to make an effort to establish a rapport with my classmates.

TARGET AUDIENCE

Our aim is not to target any particular strata of the society, instead we aim to bring about a social change which will in turn affect people from all strata and different walks of life. Our services too will be open to all those who have been cheated upon irrespective of their caste, creed, economic status and religion




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