Temper tantrums are difficult to deal with, especially once your child hits the terrible twos. However, most children don't throw a tantrum just to be naughty or manipulative. Rather, the screaming is a symptom of the child's anger and frustration when they don't have the vocabulary to explain what's really wrong with them. Therefore, staying calm and learning to identify what's really bothering your child will help you to handle the situation quickly and effectively. Some of the other tips which will help you deal with your child's temper tantrums include:
1. Remain calm enough to handle the tantrum properly:- The worst thing parents can do is have a temper tantrum over their child's temper tantrum. Children need a calming influence, especially during a tantrum, and if you can't provide that, you can't expect them to calm down. Take a few deep breaths and wait at least a few seconds before deciding on a response.
2. Make sure the child has what he or she needs:-Remember that your child's tantrum is not necessarily a way to "get his/her way", but could be the result of frustration, lack of needed attention from you, or even a physical problem, like low blood sugar, pain or digestive problems. Maybe your child is teething, has a dirty diaper, or needs a nap. In cases like these, don't try to negotiate with the child, but simply provide what is needed and the tantrum will subside.
a. It's very common for kids to throw tantrums when they're sleepy. A regularly-scheduled nap time can help prevent recurring tantrums if this seems to be the problem.
b. When you're out and about with your child, have a healthy snack available at all times, so he or she doesn't end up throwing a tantrum out of hunger.
3. Ask what's wrong:- Kids just want to be heard, and throwing a tantrum is often the best way they know to express themselves. Taking your child seriously by asking what's wrong and actually listening to the response can help. Hold your child and give him or her your full attention so he or she has time to explain.
4. Give clear explanations instead of just saying "no":- Many parents just say "no" and "because I said so" instead of explaining the reason why, but that's frustrating for kids. You don't have to give a long-winded explanation, but providing a reason for your actions will help the child make sense of things and feel more in control of the situation.
5. Hold your ground:- Be empathetic but firm when you talk with your child, and once you've given a calm explanation, don't back down. Your child may or may not calm down right away, but he or she will remember that throwing a tantrum doesn't lead to satisfactory results.
6. Don't lose your own temper:- It's important to model the behaviour you want to see for your child. If you lose it and start yelling and throwing an adult-style tantrum of your own, your child will see this type of behaviour as something that's acceptable at your house. Do not spank or yell at your child. Losing control of yourself in this way will only make your child feel confused and scared of you. It won't lead to a healthy and trusting relationship.
7. Help your child feel loved no matter what:- Sometimes kids throw tantrums because they just want some extra love and attention. No matter what, your child should know that you love him or her.
a. Avoid berating your child or saying "I'm so disappointed in you" when he or she throws a tantrum.
b. Hug your child and say "I love you," even if you're very frustrated with his or her behaviour.
8. Tell your child it's "time out" or "quite time":- If your toddler is having a complete meltdown, and there's no way he or she will be responsive to a rational conversation, sometimes quiet time is the best method. Tell him or her it's time to be quiet until he or she can calm down and feel better.
a. Remain calm yourself to model good behavior for your child.
b. Don't use quiet time as a threat or punishment, but rather as a way to give your child space so he or she can calm down.
9. Be consistent:-Kids need structure in order to feel safe and in control of their lives. If they're never sure what will happen if they behave a certain way, they'll start acting out. Use "time out" or "quiet time" each time your child throws a tantrum. He or she will soon learn that screaming and kicking aren't as effective as talking things through.