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Mother-in-law problems and its impact: Part II

Impact on the husband

• • Often the son gets caught between behaving the way he always has with his mother and adjusting his main focus to being in a relationship with his wife.

  • Sons are out of their league in understanding the complex relationship dynamics that are at play between his mother and his wife. Most are also oblivious to the fact that their mothers maintain a powerful influence over them because of which they would never have a say in some matters where they need to take a stand for their wives. This can cause trouble in their relationship with their wives.

  • Tension between his mother’s relationship with his wife can cause anxiety or depression among husbands because they are left helpless in such a situation. This further impacts performance at work and his relation with his children.
    
    Solution

    The mother-in-law issue can cause a great deal of friction and stress between the couple. In such a situation following steps can be taken:
     

  • The son can maintain a healthy marriage as well as have a relationship with his parents by setting strong, clear boundaries with his parents.

  • He should position himself where he is clearly aligned with his wife, to the point where his parents know that he will choose his wife above them in certain things.

  • In the case of mother-in-law, instead of feeling that her daughter-in-law has come to threaten her domain she should accept her as part of the family.

  • While the daughter-in-law on her part should always feel that she has gained a mother by her marriage and as you know a daughter loves her mother at all times, in spite of all her faults.

  • Develop a healthy communication style, and the in-laws on their part should understand that times have changed and they should try and come to terms with their children’s outlook.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict is bound to stay here for a while but one should realise that it’s a part and parcel of marriage. Difference in outlook between in-laws will exist. However couples should communicate it, stand by each other and seek help if necessary.