Romantic Relationships

Nagging Spouse  

Nagging Spouse

Does your husband inform you about better ways to keep the room clean? Does your wife keep bugging you to go to the gym with her? Does your partner constantly keep criticising your parents? Does your spouse complain about the same thing over and over again? Why is this happening and how can you get it to stop?

Some of the common reasons people nag:

1. The person who nags doesn't feel heard:- When someone feels unheard, they feel a need to bring up an issue over and over again until the other person acts on it.

2. It's not them it's you! Look inward:- Are you really hearing him or her? Why aren't you changing a behaviour that is bothering your partner? Has anyone else ever felt this way about you? Even though it may seem like a tough task, consider changing your behaviour.

3. It's about control and anxiety:- If you changed this behaviour would there be a new topic to nag about? If so, then it's a different topic. It could be about them trying to manage you, belittle you, feel like they have impact on their environment. Perhaps consult a therapist to get to the bottom of it. Control, power, anger, resentment, anxiety it could be any of them.

4. There's a bigger issue involved "Was there a family history of not being heard or a past boyfriend/girlfriend who was abusive? Is there an underlying resentment that isn't being voiced? Is this a symbol for something else going on in your relationship? Maybe it isn't the fact that you left your socks on the ground, it's that you haven't worked in a year. Maybe the nagging is really underlying anger because you had an affair or that you haven't had sex in a month. Hence, nagging can be an overt expression of some deep rooted hurt".

Tips to deal with Nagging Spouse : -

1. First understand what the cause for nagging is. If it is a valid reason, then try to rectify those mistakes.

2. When a couple gets married, it's not just them but even the respective families that are involved. Hence, whenever there's an argument or a conflict, it's a natural tendency of partners to draw the family into it. If you are one of those, avoid it altogether for it may lead to bigger problems. If your partner is one such type, then it is better to sort it across the table before it gets worse.

3. Sometimes, your partner, with his/her persistent nagging can get on your nerves and make you hit the roof. If you feel the situation is getting out of control, then consider talking it out directly and work out a possible solution.

4. Sometimes when your relation gets boring or the romance becomes a 'forgotten' dream, irritation sets in and you automatically start noticing all the bad habits in your spouse.You begin to think that you can no longer afford to ignore your partner's bad habits and this is how nagging starts. It will be wise to keep your relation healthy and to let your romance live forever. Hug your partner, give surprises and buy gifts without any real occasion. This will not only strengthen your love bond but will also add some spice to your conjugal life. You will start noticing the positive points in each other while taking care to ignore the points that cause nagging.

5. Spend some time with each other, go on a vacation and even on short drives. Understand how you have contributed to the nagging behaviour. Spending time together out of the home environment enables couples to bond better and keep the spark between them alive.

6. Silence is golden. If all else fails, then stop reacting. This will send out a clear message that you are not up for any argument.

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