Peer Relations

Priming Yourself For Friendship  


You may want friendship, but what kind of friends would you make? Factors to consider include:

1. Attitude towards others - We can drive potential friends away by demanding they share our attitudes, beliefs or behaviours. If you accept that other people have a right to be different from you, then you open yourself up to the possibility of experiencing relationships that bring a fresh perspective to your life.

2. Treatment of other people - Think about how you like to be treated, then offer the same to the people in your life.

3. Don't expect instant results - Good friends aren't made overnight. Sharing your deepest secrets in one night won't necessarily create a close friendship. It may even drive the other person away. Take it slowly. Divulge 'safe' secrets first, and allow the relationship to hold some weight before you share the meatier issues in your life.

4.Curb the urge to criticise - Constantly cribbing about the failures and weaknesses of other people can make your listener feel wary of you. How do they know you aren't complaining about their flaws to other friends?

5. Don't gossip - Potential friends aren't going to trust you if you constantly gossip to them about the trials and tribulations of other people in your life.

6. Don't compromise yourself - Each one of us has standards of morality and behaviour. Don't allow yourself to compromise for the sake of 'fitting in' with a group.

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