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Emotionally close yet physically distant

Physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual connection is the foundation of all relationships. Today we see marriages falling apart, couples seeking divorce. Primary cause of this in some cases is when one out of the three elements or all three, no longer works in the favour of couples. Partners in a relationship at times become distant to each other physically, emotionally and in spiritual realms too.

Couples find themselves in a situation where they feel disconnected like something is ‘off’ and this leads to questioning the relationship thereby increasing the gap and making things worse. In today’s time there a growing phenomenon of being emotionally close but being physically distant. Partners feel that there no longer is a string holding them together. The feeling of ‘clicking’ with each other gets lost. You share your thoughts and give love to them however it doesn’t get reciprocated. Relationship requires physical intimacy, physical reassurance at times. Certain issues/conflicts can only be resolved when you meet face to face, hug or kiss and talk it through.

Intimacy is a very important factor in a relationship, we all crave it and fear it too. We desire intimacy as a basic human need like food and shelter but at the same time one fears it as well because with intimacy we break those walls and allow others to enter into our souls, giving them access to our thoughts, insecurities and fears. Often partners who are emotionally close might be physically distant. Showing affection by hugging or kissing seems like a task.  . U.S. psychologists have coined the term ‘intimacy anorexia’ to describe this, millions of marriages today are at a risk to it.

Intimacy anorexia is more to do with avoiding intimacy than to do with avoiding sex. With advancement in technology humans spend majority of their time over their phones, surfing the internet or watching TV than spending quality time with their partners this is one of cause of physical distancing.

Withholding love and affection towards your partner further leads to withholding of emotions. This means having difficulty in sharing feelings and refusing to talk thereby leading to the feeling of being disconnected. Partners no longer are able to relate to each other.
When there is no form of intimacy in a relationship, it begins to crumble and fall. The reason why physical intimacy is important is because it draws partners together in body and soul. It helps to bind connection and it also makes both the partners feel secured with each other. Following are some reasons why physical intimacy is important-

Helps to connect
it helps to connect with your partner.
Feeling of being important
by just holding your partner’s hand it makes them feel that they are loved and are important.
Takes away stress
getting intimate can help to get rid of tension.

In most cases partners are physically distant because of lack of communication.

Communication is the key-
 It is important that couples communicate their feelings, their needs and most importantly how they are feeling. It is not always necessary to be compatible, you may not like the same sport or the same book. Let your partner know about the difference in your opinion because we are all aware of the phrase ‘opposites attract’. It is equally important to communicate about your desires. Sometimes your partner is likely to be put off by certain behaviours or habits for instance, body odour. Withholding such thoughts thinking that it will hurt your partner is wrong. Surely, they will be taken aback by it but will be happy to know about your thoughts regarding intimacy which in turn will bring positive changes.

Being a patient listener
listening is a very important skill. It is important to not just hear what the person has to say but carefully listening to what their needs and desires are and thereby acting upon it.
Spending quality time
one should spend quality time with their partners such as going for dinners or weekend getaways. This will rejuvenate the lost chemistry and bring back the warmth and love between partners.
Introspection
one needs to introspect about the lack of physical intimacy, as to why one is distancing themselves from their partners physically.

In simple words, relationships work like a cycle consisting of emotional, physical and spiritual elements that are dependent on each other. Disruption of any element is likely to affect the other.