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Building Social Skills- A Step Towards Toddlers Lifelong Happiness

Mrs. Sehgal had lately been very disturbed seeing some odd- behavioral changes in her 3- year old son, Rishi. As he was growing older, Rishi had started preferring staying alone, had stopped talking to his friends, had started clinging on to his mother, began staying quiet at school, faced extreme difficulty when separating from her, started to show lack of interest in pretend play games which children of his age generally enjoy, and showed some signs of abnormal aggression such as hitting the parents, banging his head on the floor, breaking glasses etc. all of which was difficult for her to accept.

Upon consulting her friend-cum-pediatrician, Dr. Kapoor, she realized that the main reason for Rishi’s odd behavior could be lack of social skills in him. Social skills are the tools that enable people to learn, ask for help, get their needs met in appropriate ways, develop healthy relationships, protect themselves, and generally be able to interact with the society harmoniously. And hence, like any other concerned parent she decided to work on his social skills with the help and guidance from a child psychologist. A mix of multiple simple yet effective techniques were used in order to help Rishi, for example- for nonverbal skills, she used games involving imitation so that he understands emotions and expressions and become open towards other’s feelings and opinions, helped him in communicating better etc.

After a few days, Mrs. Sehgal noticed a considerable change in Rishi’s behavior. He started showing awareness of his own feelings and that of others. He even started interacting with his peers, being more cooperative and friendly towards them which also made him more comfortable in unknown situations, thereby reducing his anxiety post separation with mother. Thus, simply by working on Rishi’s social skills, a number of behavioral changes were evident.

Social skills foster a healthy growth and development of a child by achieving age-appropriate developmental milestones, which if delayed, can have a lasting impact on the cognitive, social, emotional and motor development.

A comparative study by Carson, Klee, Perry, Muskina, & Donaghy, (1998) on children with delayed and normal language at 24 months of age on measures of behavioral difficulties, social and cognitive development found that specifically, the language-delayed children exhibited more symptoms of anxiety and depression, withdrawal, sleep problems, and other behavioral disturbances. The results point to the centrality of expressive and receptive language development in relation to early-appearing behavior problems and other developmental milestones.

Further, studies indicate that the absence of positive social interactions in childhood is linked to negative consequences at later ages in life, such as withdrawal, loneliness, depression, and feelings of anxiety. In addition, low acceptance by peers in the early years can be a predictor of grade retention, school dropout, and mental health and behavior problems.”

Research continues to show that children thrive when they have dependable relationships. These relationships allow children to experience security, interaction with others and they encourage exploration.

Other benefits of social skills for a toddler are –

1. Language/Vocabulary development: A toddler has a limited vocabulary. By potential social skills, they can have a grasp on the language with an added advantage of an early development of their vocabulary. Vocabulary development has a direct relationship with school performance. Better the vocabulary, better the comprehension of language. Besides that, certain non-verbal social skills, helps a child to express himself- both verbally and pictorially.
2. Academic achievement: Studies show that poor social skills are a strong predictor of shorter- attention span in    school. With engagement into games involving mental stimulation and imagination, a toddler can have an edge over their peers in schools. Using their everyday interactions during play, routines and ongoing projects can stimulate their thinking and enrich their learning. A toddler is a curious thinker so involvement in such activities encourages the child to question about his doubts. He further develops a new found confidence.
3. Strong & positive relationships: Social skills tend to facilitate a positive relationship. A deficit in social skills leads to rejection among peers. Being able to share their feelings, opinions, worries to others, it enhances the interpersonal relationship. With the development of social skills, a child learns to behave appropriately in social surroundings, learns about the things that he should and shouldn’t do in public specially his needs of toilet-training.
4. Problem-solving skills: Social skills enhances a toddler’s problem-solving skills as he/she is able to articulate his/her views clearly. Many a times, a child is unable to express himself/herself due to which they are misunderstood. With increased involvement in mental stimulation games, the toddler receives exposure and gains experience that strengthens his/her cognition. A complex task intrigues a child to try every possible way to complete the task, which increases the child’s ability to think.
5. Early responsiveness: With the development of social skills, a child learns to respond early. He/she starts observing the environment and social surroundings. Development of one’s own identity starts to begin as distinctive social actions with peers emerge around the midpoint of the first year. The child gains confidence when his questions/doubts are resolved and learns to be cooperative towards others.
6. Empathy: With the development of certain social skills, the child no longer has an egocentric thinking as he understands and sensitizes that others also have emotions and feelings. This sensitivity makes him more empathetic.

A child’s mind is like a seed, the more it gets nourished, the better a plant it grows into. A healthy social environment is facilitative to a toddler’s social skills as a child learns from the social surroundings. He/she adapts the behavior that he/she is exposed to – parents’ behavior, peers, television and media. Above all, it helps a child achieve the 4C’s – Communication, Confidence, Cooperation, and Curiosity.

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author's and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.