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Talking To The Children About Drugs And Alcohol: Early Prevention Tips

As a parent, it may seem like it’s too soon to be talking to your pre-adolescent children about drugs and alcohol, but they could already be in a critical developmental stage for decision making and could already be learning about drugs and alcohol from: 

-viewing TV,

-talking to their peers,

-or watching you.

Research indicates that parental intervention is an important supplement to other types of drug and alcohol education and can strengthen and lengthen the impact of the lessons being taught. Opening the door for tough conversations with children when they are young also encourages them to come to you for help when they need it in the future.

Just as we protect our kids against illnesses, we can help "immunize" them against drug use by giving them the facts before they're in a risky situation. When kids don't feel comfortable talking to parents, they'll seek answers elsewhere, even if their sources are unreliable. And kids who aren't properly informed are at greater risk of engaging in unsafe behaviours and experimenting with drugs. Parents who are educated about the effects of drug use and know the facts, can give their kids correct information and clear up any misconceptions. As a parent, we are role models for our kids, and our views on alcohol, tobacco, and drugs strongly influence the children.

Studies over the past two decades have tried to determine the origin of drug abuse and addiction—how the problem starts and how it progresses. Many factors have been identified that help differentiate those more likely to abuse drugs from those less vulnerable to drug abuse. Factors associated with greater potential for drug abuse are called “risk” factors, while those associated with reduced potential for abuse are called “protective” factors. Please note, however, that most individuals at risk for drug abuse do not start using drugs or become addicted. Also, a risk factor for one person may not be for another.

 As discussed in the Introduction, risk and protective factors can affect children in their development. For example, early risks, such as out-of-control aggressive behaviour, may be seen in a very young child. If not addressed through positive parental actions, this behaviour can lead to additional risks when the child enters school. Aggressive behaviour in school can lead to rejection by peers, punishment by teachers, and academic failure. Again, if not addressed through preventive interventions, these risks can lead to the most immediate behaviours that put a child at risk for drug abuse, such as skipping school and associating with peers who abuse drugs. Research-based prevention programs can intervene early in a child’s development to strengthen protective factors and reduce risks long before problem starts.

What are the early signs of risk that may predict later drug abuse?

 Some signs of risk can be seen as early as infancy. Children’s personality traits or temperament can place them at an increased risk for later drug abuse. Withdrawn and aggressive boys, for example, often exhibit problem in behaviour in interactions with their families, peers, and others they encounter in social settings. If these type of behaviour continue, they will likely lead to other risks. These risks can include academic failure, early peer rejection, and later affiliation with deviant peers, often the most immediate risk for drug abuse in adolescence. Studies have shown that children with poor academic performance and inappropriate social behaviour at ages 7 to 9 are more likely to be involved with drug abuse by age 14 or 15.

Several surveys reveal that kids who feel comfortable talking to their parents about their feelings and concerns are more likely to stay free from drugs and excessive alcohol use.

Here are some tips for talking about drugs and alcohol with the kids:

1. Provide information appropriate to their age: Simple information repeated on relevant occasions should get the message across about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. For example, if your seven-year-old is eating some fruit, you may talk to him/her about how the fruit is good for and healthy for their body. Talk about other things that are good and healthy too. Then move into talking about things that some people do that are not good for their body.

When drug terms are exposed in the media or in conversations, for example cocaine, and others, ask your child if they know what it is or what it means. Tell them they are addictive drugs that harm our bodies severely. If they ask for more information give it to them. The older your children get; the more information they may seek. Ensure you are up to date.

2. Indicate your family values. Tell your kids how you feel about drug use and alcohol consumption and what is acceptable in your family. For example, “In our family we do not agree with taking any drugs unless mum, dad or the doctor says so. It is dangerous to give it to yourself so our rule is very serious. Some people have made mistakes in taking too many drugs and they have become very sick and some have died” or “In our family we do not drink alcohol until we are an adult. It is very bad for our health.

3. Reinforce messages. Whenever an appropriate time arises or you initiate a conversation about drugs, repeat the dangers and consequences of drugs. Be informative about the facts and answer the queries asked by the children.

4. Model your beliefs. Show your kids that you practise what you preach. Avoid drinking excessively if you want them to be responsible drinkers. Try not to drink each and every night of the week if you don’t want them to do the same and always offer guests non-alcoholic drinks along with alcohol to show that what you drink is optional. Also, if you take a lot of vitamins or tablets yourself, do it discreetly.

5. Trust your kids. Give your kids the opportunity to do the right thing. If they choose to break your rules, then punish appropriately. Praise them when they are trustworthy and responsible and tell them you know you can trust them. In my experience, if you tell kids “no” all of the time or not let them go out at all, they will break the rules to do it sooner or later. Educate and explain to your kids your values, standards and rules and then trust them to make the right decisions.

6. Give your kids responsibility. Learning from a young age that choices come with responsibility will help your child feel more secure in decision making in their teens. Learning the consequences of bad choices at an early age help them make better ones in the future. The responsibilities may be simple.

As an example, for an eight-year-old, let them decide which musical instrument to learn, which job they want to do around the house one week, how many people to ask to their party etc. This will help a child be confident to make decisions for themself.

7. Foster self-esteem. As mentioned earlier, mostly kids with low self-esteem turn to excessive alcohol and substance abuse to feel better. Foster self-esteem at home by giving kids quality time each day where you can solely focus on them, to talk, to play a game, go for a walk, offer praise and encouragement, set achievable tasks and tell them how much you love them.

8. Talk about peer pressure. Kids need to know that “good friends” are there to care for them and listen to them. People who try to pressure them into smoking, drinking or using drugs are not friends. Encourage your kids to engage in healthy activities like sport that help them feel fit, energetic and good about themselves.

9. Discuss how to say “no”. Providing scenarios for your kids actually gets them to think on their feet and helps them to say “no” in a pressured situation. Give your child scenarios such as “Just say you are at someone s house and she finds some of cigarettes lying there. She asks you to share one with her. What would you say?”

Praise your child if she comes up with a good response, otherwise offer some alternatives like “No thanks, I don’t like smoking. I need to keep my lungs in top shape for netball on Saturday”.

10. Explain. It is a good idea to explain to your kids why some people take drugs, smoke and drink excessively. While there are many different reasons explain that sometimes people have a big problem with no-one to talk to so they turn to these substances. Some people try them and get addicted. Ask them why they think people use these substances, find out what they know and how they feel about it too.

To conclude, remind kids that while it is extremely dangerous to take substances excessively, not everything is lethal. For example, some drugs help us to get better when we are sick, but only ones given by a doctor, mum or dad. It is never ok to take medicines out of the cupboard yourself. Depending on your beliefs, you may like to explain that adults sometimes enjoy a glass of alcohol every now and then. It is when too much is consumed too often that it becomes dangerous. You may wonder when is the best time to start telling your kids about drug and alcohol consumption. Kids are learning and being exposed to drugs and alcohol from younger and younger ages. Gradually increase your kid’s information as they get more curious and ask more questions. Start to encourage them to take care of themselves and take pride in their healthy bodies from as early as possible.

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author's and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.