Articles

Importance Of Spending Quality Time With Kids: Expert Talk

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your TIME. Because when you dedicate your time, you are giving a part of your life that you can never get back.”

It’s ten o clock and you are exhausted. Juggling home and work life leaves you with little energy to drag yourself to bed so that you can wake up early and start the routine all over again. In the busy schedule of life what is lost is spending quality time with your child.

Aparna Joshi, a mother of a 3 year old daughter and a senior analyst at a multinational company feels guilty about leaving her daughter everyday at a Crech and not spending enough time with her.

Parents today are torn between the competing demands of two worlds. The reality is that we have less time to spend with our children but it is important to remember that quality is more important than quantity. As parents, we often worry about how many minutes we spend with our child instead the focus should be on turning those minutes into memorable moments.

Going for movies, eating out, watching TV together involves spending time together, however it may not classify as quality time because it lacks that bonding which makes spending quality time with your child important.  Quality time is time spent doing an activity that is meaningful to the parent and the child. It involves a special type of bonding that involves sharing of thoughts and feelings.

According to a bulletin by Dr. James E. Van Horn, Professor of Rural Sociology, Pennsylvania State Cooperative Extension, “Most of the child’s basic learning takes place in the many informal situations that occur daily in the life of the family. These informal occasions for learning include all the times the family members are together doing ordinary things, such as getting dressed, givi baths, preparing to leave for kindergarten, eating, and so forth” (VanHorn, 1993). The activity does need not be costly, but rather one that satisfies both the parent and the child.

The goal of parenting is to help your child become a responsible, happy and well-adjusted adult. To achieve this goal, parents help children learn about life and living in today’s society. The time a parent spends with a child is important. Spending time with your children is the best boost for confidence that you can give them.  It helps them gain a sense of self-worth and sends them the message that they are valued, loved and important. 

Spending time with your children provides the opportunity to inculcate values that are important to your family.  Simple outings like walking to local shops, taking a stroll in the park or going to the library provides the opportunity to talk to your children.

It is important to find out about your child’s interests and likes and often, these informal times are when children will open up about how they are feeling and ask questions about issues that have been concerning them.  

When you spend quality time with your children, you can start to identify their strengths, as well as begin to identify areas for improvement. Through this, you can help them grow as a person by building on their strengths and helping them reach their full potential.

There is no reward greater than being wanted and valued by someone who is important to you. Through showing your children that you not only love them because they are your children, but that you also like the person that they are, you are establishing from a very early age a confidence and self worth that they will take with them for life -  no matter what other interests they pursue.

All of these weave together and are an integral part of having a healthy family dynamic and happy children.

Tips for Parents-

· Designate a regular family time as part of your routine: Each day devote some time for your child. It could be the family dinner time, going for walk, playing a game with the child or simply talking.

· Talk with your Child:  Spend time talking with your child about any topic of interest to both of you. Talk about the day’s events and the child’s feelings about them.

· Give Guidance: Children learn to be more responsible when parents help them learn to control their own behavior. Parents use discipline to help guide children as they become responsible adults. Take the time to make discipline a learning experience for the child. Do not lecture the child instead advise.

· Quality vs Quantity:   Spend the free time you get with your children, in a productive and positive manner. Utilize every bit of free time you get, which could include the time when you are driving your child to school and back, or when they come back from school and have not yet sat down to start their homework.

· Always Thinking of You - If your job drags you down into late hours, you will not be able to accomplish the usual daily bonding activities. Instead, you could always keep reminding the kids that you are constantly thinking about them and missing them. Leave small notes in the on the fridge or a place they will find easily. Call them and explain your absence, the child will feel secure.

· Peer vs Parent - When it comes to dealing with teenagers, the dynamics of the relationship can turn tricky. Many Parents today are concerned with being their child’s best friend but it is important to maintain that parenting role even when hanging out with kids. The best way to deepen the bond with your teenager is to share your experiences with him or her. Your child will respect your honesty and will gain invaluable insight about life.

“In the end, kids won’t remember that fancy toy or game you bought for them, they will remember the time you spent with them”—Keith Heath

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author's and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.