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Do You Often Get Angry With Your Child? Here Are Some Tips!

Anger is defined as ‘an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage’. When a person gets angry it can lead to shooting up of blood pressure and heart rate which can lead to negative consequences regarding health.

Anger management, therefore becomes important, to achieve a balance in life.Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. All human beings feel angry sometimes; which is very normal. Anger can be a good thing too. Sometimes it also gives you energy to get something done or to stand up for what you believe in. It is called positive anger. But anger can be negative, especially if it happens in excess or gets out of control. Loosing temper sometimes can make problems worse and lead to conflict with others. Lot of anger can frighten children and can have an adverse effect on their confidence.

As a parent, we are probably balancing many different demands including work, household chores, taking care of children, and social activities. When we are busy and tired, it is easy to lose patience and become angry; especially if our children don’t cooperate.

Sometimes we get frustrated with our partner and we start shouting and fighting with each other; which throws a bad impression on children. Additional factors that can make a parent angry can be illness, stress at work, financial difficulties, lack of sleep etc. Emotions from their own childhood can also bring anger or conflict as a parent. If someone has experienced trauma or any abuse or has been neglected as a child, it might come as anger in the later stage of life.

As a parent, I have also experienced or felt anger and frustration sometimes. It is natural when your child does not listen to you; it becomes so irritable sometimes that anger comes in .However I think a certain degree of anger is necessary for a child to remain in discipline. But it should not result into yelling or hitting a child, which is totally wrong. One should know where to draw the line.

Our body gives us early signs of anger. It is important to timely recognise these signs, and takeappropriate steps to stop it there; and avoidthem getting out of control. The early signs of anger include:

• Faster heart beat
• Churning stomach
• Agitation –that is feeling tense or cranky
• Faster breathing
• Clenching jaw and hands
• Sweating

Negative thinking is very common when the person is angry. It could fuel his/her angry feelings. For example, when we have had a hard day at work and feel stressed and we pick our children from school, and they started arguing sitting in a back seat of a car, it makes us more frustrated and stressed which will result into anger; eventually getting out of control. It is very important to draw a line between anger and getting violent. 

Some fairly simple steps would help the individuals to practice anger management in their daily lives. They are:

Step 1 - Identify your anger: The first step to managing anger is to identify its origin i.e. to identify the root cause of the anger.

Step2 - Try to calm down: Once the early signs of anger are detected, start doing things which can calm down anger, such as:

• Take a deep breath and sigh
• Do something that soothes you may be listening music, cooking, reading or talking over phone.
• Go outside for a walk
• Take a shower
• Go somewhere sit quietly and relax

Step3 - Think before you speak: It is advisable always to think first and then speak, because after speaking sometimes we regret or feel guilty. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything.

Step4 – Take a time out: Time outs are not just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during the times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time will help you better feel.

Step5 - Identify possible solutions: Instead of focusing on what made you angry, work on resolving the issue at hand. For example:

• Issue: Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy?

Solution: Close the door.

• Issue: Is your partner late for dinner every night?

Solution: Schedule meals later in the evening or eat on your own.

Always remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything; rather it will make the thing worse.

To sum up, anger can be good or bad. Out of control anger is definitely bad, not only for the individual, but for his surroundings as well. It is advisable to reduce or control the anger by following the above mentioned anger management tips. One should try to be optimistic always. One should always feel sorry after he/she calms down. It will have favourable impact on others.

In short, emotions build up when you are tired and stressed. Looking after you can help one feel relaxed and better able to solve problems with their children,friends and family.

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author's and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.