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New Baby? 11 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Alive After Childbirth

Having a baby is probably the greatest adjustment a couple could experience. People put heaps of effort into planning for a baby on a practical level, but often don’t consider how much their relationship will change with a baby – all the parenting books and classes in the world can’t prepare new parents for the lack of time, sleep and the hormonal chemistry of new parenthood.

Make sure you’re supported

If you're pregnant, start preparing now for a supported birth to really protect your relationship post-birth.  Making sure you feel supported during the birth can help shield your relationship by preventing feelings of being let down if your partner hasn't fulfilled all your expectations during labour and birth. The support person or helper, such as a grandparent or trained nurse can do so many little things to make your birth easier without intruding on your partner experiences.

Allow yourself to have those post-birth feelings

Childbirth can sometimes evolve your relationship with your partner and how you feel about intimacy. Talk to your partner if this is the case, and seek professional help if your feelings have changed.

Come to terms with your ‘new’ body

Your body is going through a new life stage on producing a baby, so give yourself time to get used to your post-baby figure without expecting to spring back like a supermodel. Body image can greatly affect how appealing a woman feels after having a baby –untoned and fatty parts can be a shock to many women, and media images of celebs who have amazing after-baby bodies aren’t helpful. Make sure to get regular exercise in order to release feel good hormones, and the added benefit of losing all that pregnancy weight!

Have a date night

While caring for your baby might be all-consuming, it’s important to nurture your romantic relationship, too, by giving it quality time. For ‘together time’ you may have to plan ahead – mark a ‘date night’ on the calendar even if this means a quiet night in watching a movie.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Consider help with practical things such as hiring a cleaner, a gardener, and don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for help to relieve the strain on your life and your relationship.

Have your own savings fund

Statistically, money is the greatest source of arguments for all couples – however much you have, so it’s advisable to plan ahead and saving some money for yourself before you have your baby.

Find some me-time

If you feel all worn out from giving all day, you can’t expect to feel excited about your relationship: you need to keep loving yourself in little ways so that you have good energy and loving feelings for your partner. It’s important to find ‘me’ time as well as couple time. It can be good to stick a reminder on your fridge of things you can do in a few minutes – from painting your toenails to making tea or reading a book. If you are at home with a small baby, watch a DVD while you feed, call a friend or check emails while baby has a kick on the floor, walk in the sunshine while baby sleeps in the pram or a sling, or join a mum and baby exercise or yoga group. Your relationship and you will both benefit from it.

Whisper sweet nothings

What you say to each other can make you feel cared for and keep your relationship strong even when stress is in the full force, according to experts. For men, saying thank you makes them feel appreciated, respected and trusted. And women want to know that they’re loved so showing affection or even a sweet text message can convey that.

Schedule sex

It’s not romantic to plan sex, but with a new baby, it might be the only way to make sure it happens. It is important to make time for intimacy, touch and affection, even if it’s just holding hands.

Laugh

Amidst the seriousness of work and raising children, find the light hearted moments and humor in life. Crack a joke, watch a funny movie, and laugh together.

Seek counseling

If your relationship problems aren’t improving, talking to a therapist or marriage counselor can help.

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author's and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.