Covid Awareness

ROLE OF A FATHER DURING THE PANDEMIC - How is work from home impacting the Father-Child relationship?

A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.”- Vito Corleone, ‘The Godfather’.

Before this pandemic, the phrase “spending time with family” was a trope to everyone. We are all real men now, considering how this pandemic has forced everyone to stay at home and be in constant contact with their family. Family time for fathers has sprouted as suddenly as the spring’s green grass. During this situation, both parents are working from home, which means that now both can be equally present in their child’s life. Traditionally, responsibility for raising a child has always been for mothers, but in this new world where both parents are constantly present with their child, if the father continues to look upon such orthodox world views, he will never be able to become a part of their child’s life and will eventually feel left out. This changing environment has led to a shift in more balanced responsibilities between mothers and fathers. Loose work restrictions and the lockdown have enabled many fathers to be home for more hours than before, making workplaces unconsciously more family-friendly.

According to recent studies, while average childcare hours for both parents have increased during the pandemic, there has been a relative increase in the average childcare hours for males in comparison to females. Men are participating more in their child’s lives and in household duties. This can be revolutionary in terms of what might be a better arrangement for the future. They can now be better able to be active and present in their fathering and experience being both wanted and needed by their children and partners.

How can fathers have better contact with their children?

Due to the demands of other roles inside and outside of the house, many men hope that brief time with their kids together will suffice, and are thus never able to make an emotional connection with their child; instead, it is always mothers who are left with the heavy duty of forming and maintaining emotional connections and social arrangements. This leads to men seeing themselves as an “add-on” to the family plans. With the situation not being what it used to be, fathers can now consider working towards a special relationship with their kids, a much needed priority. Children need their fathers far more than most men realize, and maybe more than they show. Investing in quality time at the present and extending it each day onwards will reap rewards, because no matter how depressing and awful the situation around us is, we can’t deny the fact that it has also brought us a chance to spend more time with and get closer to our family. We will not get this chance as readily once our world goes back to its so-called normality.

Creating something together; picnicking or camping in the backyard or somewhere near home - father's time and attention is what children enjoy, whether outdoor activities like these or indoor ones such as watching a show together, having a light conversation on any topic, or playing board games. These seemingly trivial activities are actually very meaningful because they hold the memories of our time with the most special people in our lives.

When Dads have no physical contact with their children

There are many children who live separately from their fathers: they are likely to relish receiving a video they can watch now or in the future, or getting a card or a letter which they can keep. Hearing about their fathers love and what they mean to him, reassures a child of their connection, dedication and their importance.

My father lives abroad while I live in Delhi and my family in another state; in times like these, the only thing which I need from my father is for him to tell me how much I mean to him, how he loves me no matter what, and how he will support me no matter what I do, and of course, these feelings should be reciprocated by the child too. Current times are changing family dynamics - children are no longer attached to only the mother, but are also seeing their father as a figure in whom they can confide and turn to for help.